What Shadows are Made of
by Faiseuse d'Histoires
Summary: To be reborn with light, Daenerys Targaryen has to face the shadows of her past and find a new strength in all that had been lost. Set after S8. Can be read as a standalone or a prologue to "A Dance of Shadows".


What Shadows are Made of

"You must go back…"

_The voice had been harassing her since the darkness fell on her, and as time passed, Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen felt her resolve weakening. _

_I can't… I don't want to… She thought. I'm cold. I'm alone. _

_House Targaryen is gone, she thought. And so am I. Leave it be. Leave me be._

"_Who are you?" She cried. "Won't you tell me?"_

_She heard a chuckle. _

"I am the Flame of Truth. I am the Light of Wisdom."

_These words meant nothing to her. She must have heard them one day, but now… Nothing mattered. Nothing ever did anymore. _

"_Where am I?" She asked._

_She tried to shake the darkness from her body, but it covered her entirely. Thick, coarse, and full of tears. It smelt like cold sweat. She could almost touch it, as it enveloped her like a heavy, damp mantle. Its weight crushed her shoulders, and she found herself tumbling a few time. Yet, she knew it was all around her too, and the pain was even more so piercing as she tried to walk. _

"You're in the shadows, now," The voice replied.

_She raised her head, trying to find the owner of the voice. _

"_What are shadows made of?" She asked._

_It itched, and she tried to scratch it away, her skin turning red as her hands moved over it. _

"Oh, don't you know?"

_She looked at her surroundings, feeling the despair coming at her once more. _

"_I am lost," she said. _

"Do you remember?", it said. "Do you remember it all?"

_What should I remember? She asked herself. What have I forgotten? _

"To touch the light you must pass beneath the shadow…" It continued. "Three mounts you'd know…"

_No, no. Never again, she wanted to scream. _

_Never love again. _

"_No, please…" She said. _

_They used me, she thought. All of them. No man ever loved me truly. Only my sun and stars. But he was not just a man. He had been the father of the Stallion who Mounts the World. Should have. _

_Daenerys blinked her tears away. _

"_Aren't you a dragon?" She heard another feminine and sarcastic voice asking her. "Dragons take, they don't beg. Even I know that."_

_She saw a red-haired girl in furs smirking at her, showing her crooked teeth to her. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief._

"_Who are you?" she asked. _

"_Tsk, you know nothing…" The stranger replied. "Just like him."_

_Blood rushed through her veins. _

_They were all mocking her pain, her losses, as if it had been nothing. _

_Treasons, that was all she suffered from. That was what kept her going…_

"Three treasons…"

_She shook her head. No. Not again. _

"Once for blood…"

"_Oh, Dany," She heard. _

_Her eyes widened, and she blinked as she noticed who was standing in front of her. _

_Viserys, with his lilac eyes and pale silver hair, just like hers. He had a crown on his hair now, and it was from his throne that he was looking down at her. _

"_Did you really think you could have it all?" He huffed, a mad, wide smile on his face. "Sister, you're a fool, you've always been a fool…"_

"_Brother…" She began, hesitating between wanting to reach him and wanting to scowl at him. _

_He had used her. He had harassed her. And yet. He was her kin. _

_His eyes were glinting in the dark and he laughed. That was the last thing she saw of him. Instead, another thing appeared. A tent. _

_She ran towards it. That was so familiar. She had already seen it. She knew what she would find. _

_Finally…_

_She smiled with relief and entered it eagerly. _

_Drogo was waiting for her, their son in his arms. _

"_Moon of my life…"_

_She went to him. "My sun and stars… I came back to you… I came back!"_

_He reached out for her, his eyes staring at her intensely with that kind of love and desire that could last even after death…_

_She heard a laugh, loud and cruel, ringing at her ears. And when she thought her hand would touch his own, it didn't. Instead, her hand went through his, as if he had been a ghost all this time. Or maybe she was…_

"_No, you didn't," he said. And his rough voice was tainted with sadness and pain. _

"_Blood magic is dangerous…" The maegi said with a cruel smile. "A life for a life. Didn't you know that, silver lady?"_

_No… She thought despairingly as the vision left her as suddenly it had come to her. _

"Once for gold…"

"_Khaleesi…"_

_Jorah…_

_He was there, in front of her. Her old bear, in his armor, waiting for her. She ran towards him, her arms opened for him. He embraced her tenderly, and she felt like crying. _

"_Have you ever forgiven me?" He asked. _

_She smiled and looked at him. _

"_Oh, my bear," she said softly, caressing his cheek. "I've already forgiven you long ago…"_

_He closed his eyes at her touch and leaned on it. Then he opened them and stared at her determinately. _

"_Now there's another you must forgive." He said._

_Her eyes widened. No. She wouldn't. She couldn't. She was about to tell him, but as the others, he disappeared in the darkness, leaving her reaching out for something she could never have. _

"Once for love…"

_She was once again in the throne room, as ashes and snow were falling like thin rain on her hair, and on the chair. She was tempted to touch it. Just once. She never even had the time to try. But someone stopped her. _

_She felt her heart beating like a prey caught in a wolf's grip. _

_No, no, no, no…._

"_You are my queen. Now and always…"_

_She looked at her love as he plunged his dagger through her heart, his other arm maintaining her body against his. His face was enveloped in darkness of the shadows. She could barely see his eyes as he held her in his arms._

_She blinked, loosing blood as memories came down to her. Worlds whispered, thoughts, and stares judging her. _

"_You're just more of the same."_

"_A foreign whore…"_

"_Dragon spawn."_

"_You're just another one of them," Sansa Stark said with that cold, snarky voice. "A tyrant."_

_Now and always… was whispered back at her. _

"Do you remember?" Asked once again the voice.

_No. No. I don't want to, she thought. _

_I'm lost._

"_Help me!" She heard from the outside. She heard the cries of agony and felt it in her heart. _

"_Dany…" Jon said, making her focus. _

_She stared at him and reached out for his face, trying to get rid of the shadows enveloping him. Her hand touched delicately his hair, forehead, and then his temple. That's when she saw it. _

_Red eyes. Grey eyes. And there, she saw the purple, light around the pupils._

_She shivered. _

"_We must find our way back." He said. "Together."_

_In his eyes, she could see love and despair. And hope, somehow. _

_What hope could they have? What hope could she have?_

"_Trust me." He added, taking her hands in his, and putting them on his chest._

_But his dagger still pierced her heart. She shook her head._

"_I should kill you," she whispered achingly. "I should kill us both!"_

"Let go your Grace," said the voice.

"_I can't." She said, heartbroken, her tears falling down on her cheeks like rivers. "We can't."_

_He looked at her in sorrow, and she felt her heart bleed for him. _

"_Dany…"_

"Let go, your Grace…"

"_I can't." She shook her head once more, terrified. _

_His hands left her own, and cupped her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. His eyes were filled with determination and faith. He leant in, and she felt his cold breath on her, inviting. Their noses touched, and soon, their lips would…_

"_You can."_

_As he uttered these words, he let go of her. His arms opened, as if to invite her in another embrace. But instead of coming to her, he fell backward, and he let the shadows devour him._

"_Nooo!" She cried. _

_She fell down, trying to reach the last piece of his essence. But it was too late. _

_No, that wasn't supposed to be that way. Her life was his. His life was hers. _

_She cried and cried, until it ran out, and she felt nothing but cold and weariness. Once again._

"Open your eyes, my queen."

_She shook her head. _

"_I don't want to," she said. "There's nothing left for me. No one, nothing… is waiting for me."_

"Are you sure about that?" The voice became teasing. "Remember. Three fires… One for life… "

_A growl answered her. She turned her head towards it and gasped. _

_Viserion. Rhaegal…_

"_My children," she said with tears in her eyes and happiness in her heart. _

_She reached out for them, yearning for their touch as they looked at her tenderly. _

"Two are missing, my queen… But one is waiting for you…"

"_Where is he?" She asked, worried. "Where is Drogon?"_

_She heard his cry in the night, and she replied to it. He was asking her to come back, and that plea broke her heart once again. She couldn't. _

"Remember, my queen, remember…" The voice said. "One for death…"

"_We are waiting for you, my queen," She saw Missandei smiling at her._

_Her eyes were full of faith._

"_Dracarys, my queen. Do you remember?"_

_She heard the cry of her friend, telling her to burn them all. There, she saw the red doors in King's Landing slowly succumb to the flames. She was at the same time in and out of that game, while a woman in crimson was staring at her from the Red Keep. She could see the ravens flying around her, waiting for it to end so they can enjoy the meat from it. _

_It felt like revenge. It felt like success. But all of that had such a bitter taste._

_Then, she smelt it. The smell of burned bodies, and blood. Of putrefying flesh. _

_No, no, no…_

_That wasn't me, that was…_

"That was you. And that wasn't."

_She blinked. _

_What did it mean?_

_Then, everything went dark once again. _

"Don't forget… Three fires… and one to love…."

_She was once again all alone. She called for them. __Viserys. Drogo. Missandei. Jorah. Ser Barristan…_

_Jon._

_But nothing. _

_Nothing was left. _

_She was cold and weary of all this. But most of all, she was hungry for warmth. _

"_Wish for it, my queen. Wish for it. Vanquish it."_

_She closed her eyes a few minutes, focusing. She couldn't get rid of it, no. But maybe, if she became them… Suddenly, she felt it. Her eyes gazed longingly in the darkness a few minutes more. Then she lost herself in the shadows, body and soul. _

_That's when it came to her, willingly, patiently, like a former lover, never forgotten and always forgiven. _

_She saw the light and reached for it. She touched the flame. And then she saw it… _

_The Winter Rose that bloomed on the Wall. It was deeply rooted on it, and the fault it left was slowly letting the water flow. She waited, her heart pounding in her chest. _

"What are shadows made of?" Asked the voice.

_She blinked, looking at the flame in her hand, and the haunting picture it presented her. _

"_Fear," she answered, her eyes widening._

_And, for a moment, she thought someone was smiling at her. _

She opened her eyes, taking a large breath of life.

"Welcome back, my queen."

And here in the night, she could see the High Priestess of Volantis's sparkling eyes on her.


End file.
